Comic Review: Archie #664, “Game of Phones”

It’s prom week in Riveros, King Bee is stepping down, and it’s time to elect the next King to sit on the great throne. The King’s first duty is to select his Prom Queen, so the ambitious Veronsei Lodgister “must find a boy who is totally evil or even better, really, really, really sneaky.”

Like Dan Parent’s Betty & Veronica: Storybook, or the vintage Fractured Fairy Tales in Archie’s Madhouse, in Archie 664 we have the Riverdale gang’s spoof of Game of Thrones, “Game of Phones.” Always remember, this is a spoof, not a crossover. If you were really expecting a crossover, you’re obviously an Archie noob.

Archie is really excited that Winter is Coming.

Writer Angelo DeCesare has his finger not only on the ticklish pulse of Archie fans but on the hot buttons that will make diehard Thrones fans, or at least the ones without a sense of humor, simmer a little. Archie is really excited that Winter is Coming, because that means no more summer school. He has a burger-craving brother called Jon Snowhead. There’s a throne made, not of swords, but guitar necks, presumably from guitars that once played “Sugar Sugar,” or the Game of Thrones main title music acoustically. Mister Lodgister has a conniving daughter named Veronsei Lodgister. While there’s no incest, rape, decapitations, dismemberments, or disfigurements, there’s plenty of long hair and Renaissance fair attire, Betty Cooperian’s dragons, and raven phones. Yes, raven phones are exactly like cell phones. Oh, you don’t like cell phones in your fantasies? Remember, Riveros isn’t fantasy Europe, Westeros is. Riveros is fantasy Riverdale. And you were warned by the cover and the title of the story, so if your King Joffrey nerd rage is running a fever, you have only yourself to blame.

Fernando Ruiz and Rich Koslowski do a fine job transporting the Riverdale Gang to Riveros, and there will no doubt be a demand for Betty as Khaleesi sketches at 2015 conventions. If the fantasy genre was as visionary as Archie Comics, we would see more cartoonists illustrate fantasy novel covers, but despite a bevy of artists like Ruiz and Jeff Smith that get the potential, the market wasn’t ready for Phil Foglio’s Myth paperback covers in the 80s, and book publishers aren’t ready for cartoon covers now. Ruiz reminds us with a glimpse into the cartoon fantasy aesthetic in his drawing of Betty’s dragon on page 10 and the giant football players on page 19.

Archie #664 is enthusiastically recommended to Archie fans and Game of Thrones fans with a funny bone.  Newbies to both fandoms are also encouraged to try Archie #664, as it is a complete story in one issue and a good way to enjoy the Archie formula for the first time.  If your comic shop has sold out, Archie #664 may be available at quality booksellers, other retailer chains, and there are an unlimited amount of digital copies on the Archie website and app, or comiXology.  To see Nerdspan’s five page preview of this issue, follow this link.