Being Human 3.5: I’ll Be Your Nonstop Monster

In “Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Mouth,” possibly the grossest-titled Being Human episode ever, Sally found herself jumping bones and getting body-jumped, Josh discovered he still has werewolf-sized cojones, and Aidan was sussed out by a Bubble Boy teenager named Kenny. There was also a disturbingly pragmatic Liam, one seriously uneasy mortician, and dead co-eds because they can’t afford Mark Pellegrino for all of Aidan’s guilty hallucinations (more’s the pity). Ladies and gentlemen, this was an episode.

Liam’s been stalking around Boston with a few were-lackeys, slaughtering pathetic vampires who consider rats a gourmet meal. (They’re not.) He’s also surprisingly impressed when he interrogates Josh about his son Connor giving him research funds — he’s certainly unimpressed that Josh was trying to cage the beast, but let his admiration out to play when Nora insisted Josh slaughtered his maker to protect  her. Score 1, Josh. Of course, their alpha male bonding gets sidelined when Liam demands Josh and Nora kill Aidan, due to Aidan not being all sick and hungry and allowing himself to be beaten and killed by Liam’s little henchwolves. (The nerve of some vampires!)

Sally spent the entire episode off in her own little world of waffle stacks and funeral parlors, because cursed ex-ghosts just can’t integrate with society: cut off from the world for two seasons, still cut off now. At least Sally currently has greater wardrobe choice and a cute, flesh-and-blood mortician to flirt with and confuse. Poor Sally, though. She just can’t get away from death – she was dead in Season 1, she courted final death in Season 2, and now she’s sleeping around its edges. This isn’t good for you, Sally. You need to go to India. Just not with Nick and Zoe, because they will seriously cause homicidal urges with their saccharine perfection. (They’re not Josh and Nora, true facts. It’ll never last.)

Sally finally got what she’d been jonesing for and made a connection – oh, well, let’s not be coy. Sally got laid, and in the viewing room at a funeral home, no less! See above regarding what that says about her. Unfortunately, the afterglow was cut short by Max’s insecurity, and Sally was harassed by the guy’s dead mom who is way too bossy and not fearful enough of frying pans. Luckily, Sally and Ghost Mom bonded over an exorcism and the Weird Little Mortician Who Could gets to have a chance at discovering happiness. Good luck with that. BTW, Sally sure is lucky that she stayed friends with Zoe and got the soul-lock hook-up to prevent Ghost Mom from slut-shaming her and riding her body around to prevent further hook-ups. (Seriously, mom, that was not cool.)

Aidan, unlike Sally, is trying desperately to remain connected to his roommates and getting crap about it from Nora. His hunger is driving him insane, which means that his guilt is giving him vampire wet dreams. Only these dreams are way worse than the normal human kind and definitely aren’t how sexy nurse dreams are supposed to go. (Human wet dream threat level: red-faced from embarrassment. Vampire wet dream threat level: red-faced from OMG that’s blood dripping down your chin! It’s not a good look.)  Aidan can’t resist the hermetically-sealed dinner that is Kenny the Bubble Boy, and Kenny can’t help being a monster movie-loving believer who squirrels away that Aidan turned down his garlic bread, didn’t appreciate direct sunlight, and keeps taking extra blood. Yeah, there’s an awkward conversation where Kenny demands to know if Aidan is a vampire and Aidan ducks it with an inspired bit about rom-coms and Meg Ryan. It’s too bad Aidan falls asleep in front of Kenny and ends up all black-eyed and fangs-out after one of those vampire wet dreams. (Is that egg on your face, Aidan? It’s certainly not blood.)

There are two clear families emerging in Being Human: the roommates, and Josh’s werewolf pack. Josh is the soul of the house, which makes him being at the center of the divide even more poignant. Josh has always been the most accepting, and keen to forge bonds of unbreakable connection between himself and Aidan (and then Sally when she came with the house). He’s equally invested in his relationship with Nora, in forging an unbreakable marriage with her and even taking care of an insufferable teen wolf if that’s what’s called for. Unfortunately, Nora doesn’t get the roommate vibe and is much more keenly in tune with their differences from Aidan. There is a fracturing beneath the surface here, and the house is shifting. There’s no telling how the foundation will sit when this is all done, but Josh will somehow be the Atlas keeping the roof up. Perhaps that’s what the rest will find it in themselves to form a truce over– supporting and protecting the soul of their family.

Next up: Sally’s brother gets the black spot, marked for being ghosted and dusted! Return of the witch, with her disturbing granular mixes! Kenny decides its best to make like his South Park counterpart and get killed! And the return of Mark Pellegrino in a fabulous wig!

P.S. GUESS WHAT’S IN THIS SANDWICH. Josh and Nora. Best couple ever, or best couple ever?