Loot Crate’s newest subscription box offering has arrived, and its June 2016 Dystopia crate is packed with all sorts of near futures in which postapocalypses are either knocking on the door or already arrived. While this is principally a review, it also has a lot of spoilers, so if you haven’t received the Dystopia Loot Crate yet, bookmark this page and come back to it after you’ve had a gander at the contents.

In addition to the upcoming spoilers, I’d also like to disclose at the beginning that I am not a huge fan of any of these franchises. I’ve seen T2, The Matrix, and the original RoboCop, and I’m aware of Fallout, and while I like a lot of the content in these intellectual properties, I tend to prefer more optimistic universes. This means for time travelling I prefer Doctor Who to the Terminator, for fictional law enforcement I prefer Eureka’s Sheriff Carter to Robocop, and for video games I prefer Ni No Kuni or Professor Layton to Fallout.  For Matrix…..meh.  What I would like to conclude from this is that the following will be without bias, but while content isn’t everything to me, I’ve learned over the years that preferring flash and style to substance will get you three unnecessary seasons of Heroes. So content is nearly everything to me, and simply for that reason Dystopia is my least favorite Loot Crate of 2016, although I can see full well that it has its usual share of shock and awe for those that are more attached to these franchises.

Now that my personal reaction is out of the way, let’s look at the contents and sort out the goodies.


In this 300 piece exclusive Matrix puzzle from Cardinal Games, we have an exclusive image of Neo and his cronies walking through fog in a cityscape. I love a good puzzle, and if this was something different I might assemble it, frame it, and hang it with the other framed puzzles around here. Instead, I’m going to take the blue pill on this one, and I will randomly select, from the first ten tweets sent to @NerdSpan with the hashtag #redpill, one winner to receive this puzzle. By burying this contest in my review like this, I’m rewarding not plugged in social media scrollers, but daring, Neo-like, article readers. Isn’t that great for you? What are you still doing here? Tweet that hashtag!

But that’s not all! If you also include in the tweet a picture of a puzzle that you have assembled of 100 pieces or more, you get an additional entry! And if you have the puzzle framed on a wall, you get FIVE additional entries. I want to make sure this puzzle is going to a good home…


Next up, we have the exclusive Terminator 2 Metal Print from Loot Crate Labs. As a thing, this is pretty great, with a respectable sculpt of the T2 villain once he was denuded of his artificial flesh. However, there was a lost opportunity here, as it could have been easily perforated one time and turned into a metal sign. I’m guessing many Looters will elect to do that, unless they choose instead to lean it against books or DVDs on a shelf. I’m tempted to turn it into a light switch cover, so that the switch sticks through his nostril holes.


The Loot Pin is much better than last month’s, and could only have been made better and more thematic by having Slim Pickens riding the nuclear bomb. It’s bundled with exclusive digital content for the iOS and Android game, Fallout Shelter, including wallpaper and ringtones.


This Bioshock Infinite key blank from the Coop has some nice imaging too, and it’s a pretty unique collectible in that you can actually take it to Wal-Mart or a hardware store and have them grind it into a working key for your apartment or house.


The Fallout 4 Power Armor Dorbz from Funko has sweet details that are accentuated by its precise but muted colors. I’m more often than not impressed with Funko’s product, and this one is particularly nice.


Strictly based on its production values, my favorite item this month is the Exclusive RoboCop T-Shirt from Grey Matter Art. As a lifelong nerd, I have bought more than my share of novelty t-shirts, and can I just say how rare it is to see a gunmetal gray t-shirt? Yes, there are tons of gray novelty tees, but not gunmetal gray like this one. This shirt’s color is a sign of craft values all on its own, and the image of Alex Murphy, RoboCop on it is also an applause-worthy graphic comprised of grayscale and blood red.

Overall, this was a good, quality crate with excellent items worth well more than the price. I’m rating it my least favorite Loot Crate this year purely based on the franchises chosen, and not the art value and quality of the contents. My feelings on the companion Dystopia subscriptions through LVL UP+ were much more enthusiastic, and in that review that posted earlier this week, you can read how I was smitten with the Ghostbusters baseball jersey, Star Trek repeating Enterprise socks, and the Firefly replica of Kaylee’s bag accessory.

I’m much more excited for next month’s Loot Crate theme, Futuristic, as it will have exclusive content from two of my favorite entertainment franchises, Star Trek and Rick and Morty, as well as Futurama, and Megaman.  So you can get schwifty, live long and prosper, and get that loot by subscribing by July 19th.

This months crate refolds into a box depicting a robot service station redolent of early Americana.

This months crate refolds into a box depicting a robot service station redolent of early Americana.

Loot Crate provided the review copy.  NerdSpan writers are not eligible for the contest.

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