For the past few years it seems like there’s been an influx of new blood into the comics industry. Characters who historically have not starred in comics and people who historically have not been involved in the production of comics have become more prominent, and with them new ideas and opinions, not all of which have been entirely welcome. Some people think that superhero comics are not the place for agendas like feminism or social justice, and that the addition of those agendas and the people pushing them are ruining comics. The reality, though, is a lot simpler than that:

THEY’RE NOT, YOU DUMB DILDOS.

Oh, I’m sorry, did you come here thinking that I was going to actually argue in favor of some nonsense opinion about how women and minorities shouldn’t be making superhero comics? Are you looking for a safe space away from the bad people who think everyone should have equal rights and equal media representation? How dare they, you say! They’re getting their politics all over my superhero comics!

This is the tweet that’s got you all up in arms about FEMINISM and SJWS this weekend. A group of female Marvel editors went out to get milkshakes, to honor the passing of another female Marvelite, and one of them had the audacity to post a picture. A selfie, even! Can you believe that? Who does that? Girls, that’s who!

So I ask you: what part of this tweet is offensive? Please show your work.

Or better yet, don’t, and just shut the fuck up, because I already know you’re not pissed about the goddamn milkshakes.

All of those women are Marvel editors. I bet it’s awesome to be an editor at Marvel Comics. Probably a lot of hard work, too. It’s probably less awesome when you’ve got a couple hundred dudes yelling at you for going out with your fellow comics editors to get milkshakes and for allegedly ruining the thing that you love so much that you worked your ass off to get a job that lets you make the thing that you love so much.

Is this a jealousy thing? I’m guessing a small part of this, for some of you, is a jealousy thing. You want to work at Marvel, or at least you think you could do it better than the people who work there can. The thing is, I can guarantee you the way to get a job there does not involve going apeshit on their current employees because you disagree with the direction their titles are moving.

If I had to guess, it’s probably 25% jealousy. And then the remaining 75% is just that you’re a stupid asshole. It’s that part of you that I want to talk to right now, because I’m sick of you, and I know I’m not alone. A lot of people are sick of you.

For starters, I don’t think you really understand superheroes. You think agendas are ruining superhero comics? What the fuck do you think superheroes have been fighting for for the past 75 years?

This is Superman. Maybe you’ve heard of him? I bet you have. Even if you have, read that caption describing who he is. He’s a goddamn SJW, and he doesn’t have time for your bullshit.

I saw one of you guys on Twitter with a handle of “Kal-El” saying, in response to the selfie tweet, “Can we just get off of feminism and social justice and actually print stories.” This guy also misidentified the people pictured as writers and not editors, so his already asinine opinions took another hit there. But the handle really bugs me. How can you say that Superman is your hero, and then act this way to people? What the fuck is wrong with you? Have you learned nothing from him?

Here’s the thing that really gets me about your bullshit, though: you go looking for it. You go looking for it and you DON’T. HAVE. TO.

If you don’t like someone or something, leave them alone! Don’t buy that book! Really easy, guys! It takes more effort for you to be an asshole than it does to say nothing, because one of those things is doing something and the other thing is doing LITERALLY NOTHING. You’re an asshole because you choose to be, and I don’t know why anyone would make that choice but KNOCK IT OFF.

There are so many comics out there! So many! If you don’t like one, there are plenty of others to choose from! You don’t have to keep buying the ones that make you mad HOW IS THIS HARD.

You want everything to be just for you at all times? SUCK IT UP, VERUCA SALT, that’s not how life works.

Superman #27 came out two weeks ago, and I thought it was a little heavy-handed at times, particularly the half-page description of the popular ‘COEXIST’ bumper sticker and what each of the symbols mean. But goddammit if I don’t think some of you people probably need to read that because you clearly DO NOT GET IT.

Comics is a relatively small community. Thanks to TV shows and movies, though, it’s growing. I don’t know if your problem is with the fact that the fandom is growing, or the fact that it’s growing in not the particular way you want it to grow. If you’re not interested in seeing it grow or change, that’s your choice. But if comics is going to survive, it has to grow and it has to change. If you’re not interested in accepting that, then there’s the door. Comics doesn’t want your misogyny, your hatred, your toxic brand of fandom. It’s evolve or die time, and I’m sick of people who claim to love superheroes but clearly hate what superheroes stand for.

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